THINGS NEVER GO AS PLANNED

Long time no see.

There seems to be a pattern in my blogging life: I keep updating the blog regularly then something a bit annoying happens in my life and I stop writing for months and months.

I’m very happy: I have a quite nice family – sometimes a bit crazy but mainly supportive -, a (nearly) perfect partner, the moodiest and most adorable cat, fabulous friends, a roof over my head and food on the kitchen table.

I’m writing this post in Finland for goodness’ sake! I should be happy: the sun is shining and I’m on vacation.

Actually, I’m typing this in the car on our way back to the airport as it’s our last day today. I’m excited to see my cat again and to sleep in my own bed. At the same time, I don’t want to come home because I’ll have to face the harsh reality again.

Last year, I was over the moon with my new job, thinking it was finally the beginning of adulthood for me. I knew that things never go as planned but I wasn’t expecting so much failure.

I worked very long hours as a trainee lawyer. That was fine for a while. Until the massive amount of work had to be done in the worst work environment I have ever been in. Then one night, after a particularly awful day spent listening to the meanest and most unprofessional words said to me, I came back home crying and feeling very sick. I had a hard time going back to sleep and I woke up the next morning in tears.

That was it. I don’t remember exactly what happened when I stepped into the office but things just got a bit out of hands. I quit and then was fired. Or something similar.

Well, another big fail. I’m a bit used to it now. This is not the worst thing that has happened to me but still, it hurts to fail. I know what went wrong on my end. At the same time, I am aware I couldn’t have done better given the circumstances. Communication problems can’t be solved if there’s only one person trying.

I know I’ll find another job or another internship somewhere else. It’s just that the process is painful and it scares me. I’m going to be in a bad place for some time.

Not too long I hope.

I guess I’m better off now than I was a few weeks ago? I just feel like a cliché sometimes. You know, a bit like Bridget Jones minus all the laugh and the happy ending.

I’ll let you know how things go.

I’ll also share some photos of my trip to Finland.

And blog more now that I have my freedom back!